33+ Funny Status for Facebook – You Won’t Stop Your Laugh

Listing 33+ Funny Status for Facebook

After writing lots of tips on Facebook, I decided to give some dose of fun to my tech readers. I know well, all the readers of this blog might be using Facebook and all of will be happy with reading this post. As this post end up their searches like, ‘funny status for facebook’, ‘facebook funny status’, ‘funny facebook status’, ‘funny facebook statuses’ and many more searches made for to find funny status to upload on their FB profiles. I guarantee this read will make you feel amazed.

#1. How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
#2. The diagram in a book was not clear…
So,madam drew a diagram on a Blackboard and announced
“Dont look at a book Figure,
Look at my Figure!!

#3. Does Size Matter?
Does size matter? Yes I told you 2 inches makes a huge difference. Now just buy the damn laptop dad, this conversation is creeping me out.


Updated: Read 101 Questions to Ask a Guy

#4. True Love is like a pillow.
U could HUG it when Ur in trouble.
U could CRY on it when Ur in pain.
U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy.
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 buy a Pillow

funny status for facebook

#5. For the love of God, single people, stop looking for love or you’ll end up married.
#6. A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, “What do you expect for $10 — lobster?”

#7. I want u …
To be with me In a nice Restaurent
To have candle light dinner…. &
to say those sweet three words to U….
“Pay The Bill”

#8. A sick patient asked his doctor, ”Flu?”
The doctor replied, ”No, I came on my bicycle actually!”
#9. If money was grown on trees,women would be dating monkeys!

funny facebook statuses- who will date today

#10. A man climbed into a bus and the driver asked”where are you going to” the man replied “to the back seat”

#11. A couple had been out shopping for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realised that her husband had disappeared. She was so angry, she rang his mobile and asked, “Where are you?!” In a calm voice, he replied, “Darling, do you remember the jewellery shop we went into 5 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn’t afford and I said one day when I had enough money, I would get it for you?” She smiled and her eyes filled with tears, “yes, my love I remember.” “Well I’m in the pub next door to that.”

#12. I’m always right, except for when I’m wrong.

#13. When does 2+2=22?
When you don’t know how to do addition.

#14. Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.

#15. What’s the difference between a woman’s argument and a knife?
A knife has a point.

Read also,

6 Latest Whatsapp Dare Messages With Questions – Answers [2015 Collections]

#16. How many books can you put in an empty backpack? One! After that its not empty!

#17. At The Beginning Of Married Life, Every Girl Treats Her Husband As GOD,
Later On Somehow That Alphabets Got Reversed . . !

#18. Kareena has small.Rakhi has big.
Rani Mukerji has 1 big & 1 small!
Aishwarya rai has two small!
What’s that?
The letter ‘R’
But I like the way u think…
#19. People Who Do Lots Of WorkMake Lots Of Mistakes.

People Who Do Less Work
Make Less Mistakes.

People Who Do No Work
Make No Mistakes.

People Who Make No Mistakes
Gets Promoted

#20. Love is possible after friendship but
friendship is not possible after love
because
medicines work before death
3later nothing can be cured….!!!
Read Also,

How To Secure Your Facebook Account From Being Hacked By Your Friends (Hacking Security)

#21. Whos hot… Its U,Whos
Charming… Its U,
Whos
Sweetest.. Its U,
Whos
Intelligent… Its U,
Whos dear & near friend… Its U
Who’s a liar.. Its me

funny facebook statuses Its Me

#22. You are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!!Just a second, don’t misunderstand.
CUTE means:
Creating
Useless
Troubles
Everywhere..
#23. Boy1:Meet my wife Tina

Boy2.Oh! I know her
Boy1:How?
Boy2:v were caught sleeping together
Boy1:What the hell?
Boy2.during lecture in maths class

Think +ve:)

#24. When things go wrong,when sadness fills your heart &
when tears flow 4rm your eyes,
just let me know.
.
.
cause I want 2b there 4 U!
I am selling TISSUES, BUY 1 GET 1 FREE!

funny status for facebook buy 1 get 1 free

#25. SomeOne..MiSSES U..
NeeDS U..
Worries About U
Lonely Without U
Guess Who?
THE MONKEY IN
… THE ZOO ..
#26. Husband texts to wife on cell..

“Hi,what r u doing Darling?”

Wife: I’m dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types “Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?”

Wife: “U idiot! I’m dying my hair..”

Husband: “Bloody English Language!

#27. An English Professor wrote words:
“A Woman with out her man is nothing”
and asked his students 2 punctuate it.
All the boys wrote:
“A Woman, with out her man, is nothing”

While all girls wrote:
“the Woman: without her, man is nothing”

Feel the difference.

#28. Millions of people write love letters.But everyone send there 1st love letter mostly to me,
Just imagine how lucky i m!
Great words said by
.
** dust bin **

#29. Girlfriend: Its 2 tight
Boyfriend:Dont worry,Ill put it slowly,

Girlfriend:Push it in,
Boyfriend:Ah..I cant,

Girlfriend:Its painful,
Boyfriend:Forget it.
Well buy new WEDDING RING!


#30. My eyes detected
My heart reacted
Thousand were rejected &
Only you were selected.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because I needed a monkey
for an advertisement.

#31. It’s the thing that satisfiesur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
#32. Boy:what is that u keep in ur mouth

which is 6″ long
and move it in and out
and wait for a white substance to come out?

Girl: y do u ask such question to me.
i cant tell such words

Boy: dont worry its tooth brush

#33. How fight starts…A couple see’s a sexy girl in mall…
.
.
Wife: So big, aren’t they???
.
.
Husband: Ya, Awesome!!!…
.
.
Wife: Are they artificial???
.
.
Husband: I think natural !!!
.
.
Wife: Natural Earrings???
And the fight started…
funny facebook statuses boy and girl fight

#34. Fill in the blanks
1.BOO_S
2. _ _NDOM
3.F_ _ K
4.P_ N_S
5.PU_S_
.
Answer:
1.BOOKS
2.RANDOM
3.FORK
4.PANTS
5.PULSE

#35. Doctor: Mrs. Taniya good news for you!
Girl: What do you mean Mrs. Taniya? Iam Miss Taniya!

Doctor: Oh !! Sorry Miss Taniya…Bad news for you!

#36. Beautiful quote..There iz nothing greater dan Parents in dis world.So go get married fast and bcome parents.
Think different

#37. Man to Hotel desk clerk:How much for room.Clerk:depends on room size
Man:Do you take children?
Clerk:No, sir,only cash and credit cards!

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